he understands...

he will always understand.

jonah spent the afternoon at my parents' house with grandma so that dave and i could get some more packing done. as we drove over there, dave and i were talking.

i was sharing with dave about this amazing new friend i'd made through my mom's group. it's kind of sad yet exciting all at the same time.

last week i attended my last "farewell" event (sniff), a mom's night out at graham's 318 in geneva for chocolate fondue with the ladies... yummo! it was so fun. i'd never been there before and i'm so sad we're moving away because i now find myself daydreaming about that creamy sweet bowl of melted chocolate so tasty that when we ran out of things to dip we actually considered asking for straws. could i just pour the rest into my pocket to take home with me?

but i digress. so the other day i signed on to our mom's group website to check the boards. i figure i can still see what everyone's up to and maybe offer some advice about where to buy cupcakes for that upcoming birthday party or whatever. when i went to check out my post about inviting everyone to join me on facebook so that we could keep in touch, i found the most wonderful note! it was from an amazing fellow photog mama named rosie. we've never officially met and we've only emailed back and forth once or twice, but i already feel like we've known each other for years! we're just soul sisters in christ i guess.

so i was checking out rosie's blog when i came across this post about the american child photographer's charity guild.

i almost couldn't believe what i was reading. back in february i wrote about how God was inspiring in me this idea to start some sort of ministry that would provide this service for people... to go into hospitals and photograph children whom God had called home. the trouble was i didn't even know where to begin. so there it remained... in my head. just an idea.

as dave and i discussed my new friend rosie and this amazing new opportunity she has revealed to me, dave said he wasn't sure that he could do what i was proposing to do. he also said that although he tries to be supportive of me and my work, he wasn't sure that he could handle me sharing the images that i take with him. sometimes he said he still has trouble looking at pictures of our own daughter. i know what he means.

but i don't know. i just have this complete and total peace about it all. and that's how i know it's from God. the same way that i know this move to texas is from God. i know it will be difficult. will i go in and most likely cry with the family for their loss? yes. is it possible that i won't even be able to do my job? yes. but i believe that if God calls me to it, He will bring me through it.

i also feel that this will somehow be therapeutic for me. i never got to photograph my own daughter. her tiny tiny hands. her sweet little lips. her dark brown wavy hair. her itty bitty ears. her little feet with the baby toe that was raised up above the others so that the nurse had to push it down to get her complete footprint... that's why when we doodle faith's footprint when our family signs cards we only draw 4 toes. :)

ah... our girl.

so i really feel like this will be my opportunity to capture those special little things for hurting families and in doing so i will get the closure i've been seeking as well. plus what an amazing opportunity this will be to be able to share my story of Faith and how God comforted me through the hardest trial of my life. this is such a crazy time in my life, but when we get to austin i'm going to apply to the guild.

as we approached my parents' house, dave and i were wrapping up our conversation when the dj came on and said she wanted to play this amazing clip from her friend's radio show. a 13-year old cowboy named logan had called in and had something he wanted to share.

here's the clip:



i almost can't comprehend the wisdom that this young man possesses. God draws near to those who are hurting... we just have to be willing to listen.

"he understands. he will always understand. he will always. just run to him."

right on, logan!