Tuesday, November 13, 2007

crazy beautiful

I just can't put into words how awesome God is. But I'm gonna try.

Today while Jonah napped, Dave and I worked on weeding out and organizing our abundance of "stuff" in the garage. As we worked we got to talking. And it started to hit me. We're moving. We're not just going on vacation. We're leaving our home and everything that's familiar and driving 1,155 miles (give or take) to a new home. (Pause here for dramatic effect).

As I started to talk about all of the people being negatively impacted by our calling/decision I started to get a little depressed. I'm going to miss my family. I'm going to miss my friends. And they're going to miss me. How will the holidays work? We can't come back for every one of them. I'm so used to being with my family for every holiday. We have traditions here. Heck, I miss walking around downtown Geneva at night with Dave already and we haven't even left yet.

I let myself go down that path for a few minutes, but then God reeled me back in. "Was Abram thrilled about having to leave his home?" God reminded me. "How 'bout his friends? No. But I had bigger plans for his life. And I have bigger plans for you. Trust me."

So I continued with my work in the garage. Shortly thereafter Dave headed inside to fetch little Mr. Jonah who was waking up from his nap. As he headed inside, my heart was still heavy.

But I continued to organize and condense, looking around and feeling a twinge of pride over our accomplishments that afternoon.

Both my face and my heart smiled as I listened to Dave and Jonah over the monitor. Jonah was squealing and giggling as Dave changed his diaper and they sang and babbled, carried away in the most amazing father-son moment.

I wish I could just pluck up those moments and put them in a box somewhere safe where I could always visit them. I have to believe that cherubs' voices all sound exactly like Jonah's little 13-month old voice... so sweet and pure.

As the giggles faded away a song came on the radio. I was pulling random items out of a box marked "camping supplies" and wasn't listening too closely until these words jumped out of the speakers and bit my ear drums...

whoa you’re oh so beautiful
you don’t need anyone’s approval
you’ve got to believe in yourself
you know you are
you’re crazy beautiful
Seriously. God. That's exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you. I am crazy beautiful. You made me this way. And therefore you're crazy beautiful too.

Now if I were an author and this was a book here's how I'd wrap up this little anecdote...

When Lisa came inside after hearing that song, she sat down at the computer to look up who wrote that song (it's Chasen's Crazy Beautiful btw). As she typed she told her husband about the whole experience in the garage and how she had teared up listening to those wonderfully encouraging lyrics.

At that Dave began to laugh. And laugh. And laugh. And laugh a bit more. He laughed this particular laugh that told Lisa something ironic had just happened.

Apparently as Dave headed inside to get Jonah he could sense Lisa's heavy heart and as he stopped to watch the beautiful sunset from the kitchen window he had asked God to send her some encouragement.

Yep. If I were an author that's how I'd write it.

Crazy beautiful.

Crazy Beautiful

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